Dear Andreia,
Hello! How was your arrival in Chicago? Is still snowing? How I wish to be with you... please don't think I'm an envy person, maybe one day I can go with my babies and I take you to help me!
As you know Francisco was born, he is so wonderful! Last tuesday he did one month. Antonio is a little jealous, but we are trying to make him understand that is good to have a brother. He is not alone anymore. Sometimes Antonio asks me to carry Francisco. He lays in my bed then I put Francisco in his arms carefully. He likes do it very much! I took a picture of them, I'll send to you in the next letter.
My new house is very comfy, there's a big garden. It is very simple and small but it's my house. It's so good to arrive there...
Well, I have to go, there's a baby waiting for lunch. Taking care of two kids is a taught work!
I hope September will came soon to see you and to see Francisco bigger!
Send me news!
Miss you,
Love,
Malu.
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Dear Andreia,
ReplyDeleteHello! How was your arrival in Chicago? Is still snowing? (use 'it' when talking about the weather) How I wish to be with you...(check the use of 'wish' with the subjunctive mood - CAF4; last unit: "I wish you didn't treat me like a baby") please don't think I'm an envy ('envy' is a noun.The adjective is 'envious') person,(comma splice) maybe one day I can go with my babies and I take you to help me!
As you know (punctuation)Francisco was born, (comma splice)he is so wonderful! Last tuesday(capitalize the names of weekdays) he did (voc) one month. Antonio is a little jealous, but we are trying to make him understand that is good to have a brother (where is the subject of "is good"?). He is not alone anymore. Sometimes Antonio asks me to carry Francisco (suggestion:...to hold Francisco in his arms). He lays (lie vs. lay) in my bed (punctuation) then I (place 'carefully' here) put Francisco in his arms carefully. He likes do ('like' + infinitive to or 'like' + gerund) it very much! I took a picture of them, (comma splice) I'll send to you in (preposition) the next letter.
My new house is very comfy, (comma splice)there's a big garden. It is very simple and small but it's my house. It's so good to arrive there...
Well, I have to go, (comma splice) there's a baby waiting for lunch. Taking care of two kids is a taught (spelling) work!
I hope September will came (verb form) soon to see you and to see Francisco bigger! (This sentence should be rephrased)
Send me news!
Miss you, (punctuation)
Love,
Malu.
Malu,
ReplyDeleteI loved reading your letter. I also enjoyed learning about the boys. Congratulations!
:-D Best wishes from your classmate.
Thanks a lot, Mari!!
ReplyDeleteDear Andreia,
ReplyDeleteHello! How was your arrival in Chicago? Is it still snowing? It would be so nice to be here with you…please don't think I'm an envious person. Maybe one day I can go with my babies and I take you to help me!
As you know, Francisco was born and he is so wonderful! Last Tuesday was his one –month-birthday. Antonio is a little jealous, but we are trying to make him understand it´s good to have a brother .He is not alone anymore. Sometimes Antonio asks me to hold Francisco in his arms. He lies in my bed, and then I carefully put Francisco in his arms. He likes doing it very much! I took a picture of them, but it’s not in this computer I’m writing to you, then I’ll send to you on the next letter.
My new house is very comfy. There’s a big garden for the kids playing. It is very simple and small but it's my house. It's so good to arrive there...
Well, I have to go, because there's a baby waiting for lunch. Taking care of two kids is a tough work!
I hope September will arrive soon to see you here in Brazil and to see Francisco with seven months!
Send me news!
Miss you.
Love,
Malu
Cool. It has improved a lot.
ReplyDeleteSome other comments:
"...with my babies and I take you to help me!" check verb tense.
"one-month birthday"
"in this computer" or "on this computer"? What do you think?
"on the next letter" ==> "with the next letter"
"writing to you" ==> "writing you"
"Comfy" is more commonly used in attributive position, that is, before the noun it modifies. "comfortable" would sound more natural in your sentence.
"for the kids playing" Check the previous unit.
"a tough work" "a tough job". You could also say "hard work", without "a".
Last paragraph: who is the subject of "to see"? I think "come" sounds more natural than "arrive". Who is the subject of the second "to see"? "Francisco with seven months" ==> sounds a little odd.
IHTH
See you in class.
Robson
ok, ok... =(
ReplyDeleteI will check my mistakes and try to make it better...
Thanks.
"=("
ReplyDeleteDon't be sad. We all make mistakes. The idea is for us to learn from them and try not to make the same ones over and over again.
Ok, teacher! Thanks a lot...
ReplyDeleteYou're right!
ReplyDelete